Sleep Lessons? [RANT]

This week convinced me that I need sleep lessons. My Covid-induced allergies returned and brought random nighttime coughing with them. Sleep deprivation kept me from realizing this was the culprit until the fourth time I woke up coughing up a lung on day two or three. Honestly, I thought the exhaustion stemmed from not enough protein and waking up at the slightest sound since I have a child who likes to sneak around like an elephant learning to walk at all hours of the night. Reminds me of the cat I stole who thought she could hide behind a shoe.

Anyway, I decided to help my now confused nasal passages move along by using  the Flonase my doctor prescribed. That halved the late night coughing sessions but loosened something up, so I thought I was going to die. No idea how people live with allergies. It has been throwing off my groove.

Needless to say, I have been wandering around in a fog, wishing for sleep and saying weird things. So when the teachers share weird stuff that my kids say about chocolate, I will only have myself to blame. Anyone else anxiously waiting for someone else to entertain their kids since they have been given a less than stellar rating by those sweet little critics?

Another critic gave me the grocery store version of a standing ovation yesterday. As I wandered around in search of yummies to keep the household happy, I rounded a corner at a probably inappropriate speed. I tend to get a little excited toward the end of my shopping journey, so I don’t always remember to slow down going around corners. As I sped into the next aisle, a man looked up startled. His eyes focused on my face and widened as a smiled in that way I do when I see a particularly lovely cheesecake or cake or cookie or green muppet. I smiled in acknowledgement and continued on my quest for frozen pizza. (My elephant has an addiction and I’m her dealer.)

I was quite proud of that man for only noticing my face. Of course, the ladies in the check-out line noticed my fancy new shirt, which informs the world that my family tree is full of nuts. True story…and most days, so is my belly.

For those keeping track, I have posted on Substack this week. I am still figuring out the ins and outs of this endeavor. Sadly, I am not writing as much as I should. I need to work on that, so more of you will decide my creative endeavors are worth supporting.

In the meantime, have a great week and remember that you can not hide behind an object smaller than yourself…

Unless you have a cloak of invisibility.

Caught Between Celebrations [RANT]

This proved an exhausting two weeks at Casa Hobbit. Camp ended the week before last so my babies were home to be entertained by me. Their father also took off most of last week to spend time with us. Has anyone noticed how differently each of us defines spending time?

Despite all the quality family time, I did finish beta reading two novels. One was the fist of a fantasy series with quite a bit of humor thrown in. The second was a reimagining of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”. I’ve read many novels of this genre by this author and haven’t got bored of them yet, so that is the rousing endorsement she needs.

My own writing has been shuffling along. I have posted a couple of poems and poked at some short stories. More entertainment should be forthcoming if I can stop being distracted. But how do I keep getting distracted?

A friend introduced me to a page where I can give away random stuff from my hoard. I managed to offload one clothes dryer, one microwave, a pack-n-play, and some nursing supplies. My husband now excitedly wants me to post just about everything in the house. That will not be happening, so don’t expect to be getting free journals, etc. 

If you are interested in purchasing some of my crafts, however, please let me know. My kids will appreciate it as this is how I plan to fund their extracurricular activities. My husband isn’t too keen on paying the fees for camps and such. I get it because the good ones are a bit expensive, but if our summer schedule has proved anything, it is that I am not nearly exciting enough for my little clones. And play dates don’t work when all their little friends are in camp.

Hope your summer is going well. The temperature is down this morning, so I feel things have improved dramatically.

Birthday Bashes [RANT]

Just a reminder that my substack has gone live with paid posts. You can subscribe for free and get all the free posts delivered to your inbox or pay a little and get every post sent to you. I priced the subscription as low as possible and have been posting at least twice a week. Summer has kept me busy, so most posts have been poetry, but I have high hopes to get more short stories out in the fall. In the meantime, wish me a happy birthday by letting me know what strikes your fancy here or there.

My brain keeps refusing to let me sleep until I address its need to write poems about various dark creatures. If I didn’t have an angel on the other shoulder prompting me to write light pieces, I might be concerned. have been posting these sweeter pieces for all subscribers because the world needs more light. I guess that means we pay for darkness. Seems valid.

The rest of the week has been devoted to pre-birthday celebrations. I have eaten cheesecake and Italian food. I have been carefully working through the freebies that find their way into my inbox. I have to get something for letting different places send me propaganda almost daily. 

Even better, my girls continued their camp happiness this week. Yesterday was their last day of camp, so they performed a cute little hula show for us. Of course, my brain thinks it is funny and halfway through a song about “hula hands”, it decided we were singing about Major Hoolihan from “M.A.S.H.”, so I apologize to my husband and friend who were sitting next to me for my snickers. I didn’t limit them to that song as I dropped my phone directly on my face while trying to make video to share later, preferably with shy boyfriends who are already terrified of me.

Clearly, I will not be taking up videography as a job any time soon, but I still think I missed my calling as baker. Luckily, I get to bake cakes for some of my adopt-a-family. I also keep forcing people to eat delicious brownies because otherwise I will eat them all myself. Please don’t let me eat all of the brownies myself. I do not wish to buy new clothes.

Anyway, my birthday swiftly approaches and we’re supposed to be celebrating again today with a little family trip to eat Italian food. Yes, I might be addicted to deliciousness.

Paying Attention and Happy Campers [RANT]

Most of my inadvertently sugar-free pie may be currently waiting for me in my freezer. Even I couldn’t eat most of three pies before they went bad. A friend let me have some pie that he remembered to put sugar in on Sunday, so it was a pie win weekend. Add that to spending the Fourth with some adopt-a-siblings and the whole weekend proved fun. The cousins all played happily and the tiny humans who weren’t mine didn’t want to leave despite the fact that it was way past everybody’s bedtimes and potentially homicidal cats awaited them at home.

The smaller humans didn’t even give watching fireworks over the trees much of a go until around ten. Their arrival did inspire us to wander into our neighbor’s driveway which provided a much better view of the proceedings. Up until that point , we were in my driveway, spinning around in circles every time we heard a promising pop from any direction.

Saturday morning was less satisfying. I volunteer at my local FamilySearch Center so people can come in and look up their ancestors. We have many volunteers but not enough to man the center more often than every Saturday. As they are donating their time, volunteers tend not to be available around major holidays, so we don’t open our doors those weekends.

I was amazed that I woke up by the time I would normally head down for a shift. My tiny bosses woke up early as well, so we were watching “Thundercats” together when a friend called to ask if anyone was supposed to be at the center. Apparently, a volunteer missed that the Fifth of July was listed closed on the schedule that I send out periodically and made an appointment for someone to get help that day. Anyone else feel like people don’t pay attention to information they impart?

This week was the first week of camp for my darlings. Their camp lets them learn to appreciate how musical theater can help them to express themselves. The directors picked a Hawaiian theme this year, so we prepped by watching “Lilo and Stich.” Hopefully, they get to hula like Lilo.

Mom camp has involved trying to make dents in messes throughout the house and keep writing. I owe my substackers some stories, but no one has crossed over to being a paid subscriber and it feels like the only views are me, so I will ease into assigning myself deadlines.

If I can resist my other hobbies, my writing goals might go easier. With my little monkeys eating at camp, I found myself with a bevy of overripe bananas. Now I have almond banana blondies, banana pudding cheesecake, and banana foster cake to rehome to my belly, unsuspecting friends, and my freezer.

Communication and Service [RANT]

Today is a holiday: the first one celebrated in my head this month. Needless to say, I have been thinking of patriotic pie and burgers and small children racing through my yard chasing each other to something exciting. What exactly that is remains to be determined, but we have pie: cherry, dutch apple, and blueberry, oh my!

Of course, the world outside my food-obsessed brain marches onward and multiple people have enlisted my skills this week. The first was a situation of my own making. When my kitchen was out of commission, I attended a White Elephant Gift Brunch with some friends from church. Since I couldn’t just bring brownies, I presented a gift certificate for baked goods. The recipient still hasn’t quite redeemed her gift.

Another couple of friends is leaving us for the west and the same hostess offered up her house for a farewell party. Seeing my friend in the same environment reminded me that I have not yet fulfilled my obligation from December, so I sat down to see what type of baked delight might appeal to her. She responded by asking if I could make lasagna. I can and I have, but it has been a while, since I learned to make it in a giant turkey roaster and the only person in my house who will eat is me. 

Technically lasagna is baked, and, as we talked, my brain reminded me that not everyone is addicted to sugar, so I spent half of yesterday chopping and browning and baking lasagnas, since I figured she wanted a smaller portion of lasagna than a roaster pan. I also decided to use the no cook noodles, which apparently get uncooperative if the top layer isn’t held down by a massive amount of sauce, so now I know that for the future. I hope she appreciates her gift because mine was delicious, but I didn’t put as many noodles in mine, so it wasn’t mysteriously crunchy.

Another young lady at church wanted my help getting started on her family history. The missionaries informed me of this and said they would set something up. Then they asked again and gave me the sinking feeling that perhaps these young men might need to work on their organizational skills, so I started communicating with the young woman, which I should have done in the first place. 

We decided to meet up Monday at six at her apartment. I made her aware that I might be late. She seemed to understand that. I did end up leaving my house around six instead of before six. I saw that coming and gave her a heads up around 5:40. Having not heard anything to the contrary, I drove toward her apartment.

Halfway there, I got a message telling me we needed to reschedule. Another message followed explaining that her landlord didn’t like her to have guests after 6:20. I proceeded to turn around and head home as it was already 6:18. 

So clearly, I need to gather more information before I agree to anything. Communication is important, people.

That is why I must sadly confess to my guests today that I forgot to add sugar to two of the pies I made. Clearly, this was not a good week for me to bake. Nothing turned out quite right. But I tested the pies and the addition of ice cream definitely sweetened them up. What does this tell us about ice cream?

That it’s delicious. Calm down. I scream for ice cream.

Updates and Unique Unicorns [RANT]

Playdates and lack of sleep have thrown off the summer schedule but we are muddling through. Well, I am muddling through. Everyone else seems determined to consciously create chaos wherever we may be. 

My oldest child has a friend who has a pool, so both kids want to go over there every day. My new friend (the mother of my child’s friend) says we are welcome to pop over everyday. I am not sure she realizes what such an invitation brings. I think I have to let people enjoy my uniqueness in doses, so I will not take advantage of her kindness.

Aside from that, even with just two fabulous playdates this week, my house feels neglected. The piles get bigger and not in a good way. For instance, they are not huge piles of money that make me dream of being like Scrooge McDuck and swimming in my money. Instead, I soak my hands in soapy water and try to knock back funny smells by giving my new washer a workout. 

I got behind on my writing goals. Since I posted a poem and then realized I did a horrible job editing it last week, I need to get ahead of this goal and not behind it. I also owe my potential substack readers one more post of actual prose since I am planning to make most of the content there only available to paid subscribers in July.

No, I will not be offended if you subscribe to my substack as my birthday gift. I might be sad if you never read my posts or give me feedback though. Not sure why I am so needy about these things. It is good to know that what you create brings joy in to the world.

Why else would I keep subjecting people to cake, brownies, cookies, muffins, and other treats? It isn’t because I make too much for one. Or because my freezer is overflowing with goodies. Well, maybe a little.

That doesn’t stop me from popping out for an ice cream date with a friend. Sometimes, you need to step away from everything you need to do and relax. Tonight, our waitress seemed surprised that I ordered the Cookie Monster ice cream. She warned me that it was VERY blue and would stain my lips and teeth. I reassured her that I did want it and I do know how to use a toothbrush. She seemed satisfied.

After I had a chance to partake of some of my treat, she came back to check on us. I beamed at her and asked if I looked like a Smurf yet. She responded in the affirmative and wandered off again. The evening culminated with her commenting that no one had ever finished the blue menace before. I wonder what her response would have been if I licked up the dribbles from the side of the glass. I always amaze people when I eat ice cream. Want to know what I mean? You can buy my ice cream and find out…

Clearly, I know how to party like it is summer!!!

Bonding, Balancing, and Brainstorming [RANT]

Another week has come and gone. Summer is truly upon us. Lovers of heat and barbecues and being seasonal mermaids rejoice. Polar bears contemplate diving into the neighbors’ pool, preferably with permission and the payment of an acceptable treat. Small children want to run through sprinklers and mud and track it through the house as a memento for their mama despite the horror evident on her face at this action.

Then the rain rolls in. And it always chooses to do this when we are at Nana’s house. So Nana is sad that no one gets in the pool. And the kids just watch other people play computer games on television. That pretty much sums up the first half of my week. That and eating out and dutifully eating brownies that were purchased from Costco for a party of twenty when only four guests were expected. So if you see me and wonder if you are seeing more of me, signs point to yes.

It doesn’t help that I am an accommodating creature. As a guest in someone’s home, I try to fade into the furniture unless I can be helpful. But if my help just gets me told how I am doing everything, including breathing, incorrectly, I wrap up in my cloak of invisibility and keep quiet watch over my tiny clones while catching up on music I want to peruse and my to be read pile. These are a few artists that spoke to me this week:

Lisa Marie Presley: Yes, that Lisa Marie. Her music is kind of gritty. I want to hug her daughters because I know they miss her.

Wolfgang Van Halen: I was on a kick for the babies of famous singers and actresses. That doesn’t mean their music doesn’t have merit of its own.

Brigitte Calls Me Baby: Their music makes me think of the 80s and I enjoyed the 80s. Though some of the music now traumatizes me as my brain keeps telling me what those lyrics really mean.

The Heavy Heavy: Not sure if they give me nostalgia for the 60s or the 70s, but I dig their music. Plus that one band member looks familiar. Odd.

Red Wanting Blue: Southern rock speaks to me for some reasons. Might figure out why at the end of this post.

J J Heller: She posts light-hearted and worship music that soothes me.

I have returned home, where my obsession’s center around finding balance in not just my own life but hopefully the lives of the three blue-eyed cuties who live with me.  I have small children, so I am trying to keep them on a schedule over the summer, so life doesn’t devolve into the chaos. The first week went well. The second week occurred in someone else’s space, so we were schedule free and stayed up late and ran wild. We are trying to get back into the groove of things, but yesterday was exhausting. Today looks like it wants to follow suit.

I shall find my balance. Or I shall vent about it to myself, since I feel like the only person reading my new substack, but I plan to keep posting there. And those who have enjoyed my rantings and writings for years can feel free to get a paid subscription and say it doubles as my birthday and Christmas present for this year. I still need to decide on a reasonable rate since I am currently only promising four to five pieces a month. We’ll see how feisty my muse gets if I receive some appreciative feedback, shall we?

~~~

Help me brainstorm by offering your input on the following questions. Please!

1. How much would you be willing to pay to read four to five pieces of my writing a month?

2. What creeps you out?

3. What brightens your day?

If you don’t want to share with the rest of my readers, message me somewhere. I have a feeling you got here from Facebook, so say “hello, weirdo” and then answer my questions. Thanks in advance!

~~

And your excuse to eat cake today:

Happy Birthday, West Virginia!

The best went west in 1863!

Here’s to another 162 years of being wild and wonderful!