Should I Tell You? [RANT]

I blame the unseasonably warm weather for my mind's jaunts down memory lane. I find myself worrying and wondering about people who haven't spoken to me in years. Can I call them friends? Do I have the right to worry and hope for them? If they happen upon this page and realize, "She's talking to me," will they quickly follow it with, "But why?" I never know. The past cannot be changed, but perhaps the future can be rewritten by sending out some positive energy to loves past and present.

To My Shy Friend From Years Ago

I thought of you today. You were one of the quiet ones that shuddered when they made fun of you and cried where they could see you. I wanted to tell you not to let them see you cry, but I was afraid you'd think I was joining in on their antics. When you realized I was on your side, you clung to me. That made me uncomfortable. I hope I never added to your sadness by not being as strong of a life rope as  you wanted. I hope they didn't break you. I hope you realized your worth despite the blindness of others. I hope life is treating you well and you've surrounded yourself with people who get you and support you. Don't give up on yourself. You are worth more than I think you could ever know.

To One of the Many Who Lied to Me

I know our whole friendship hinged on lies. You started with lies about your name and built on them. I think I knew. I kept asking questions that you couldn't answer satisfactorily. Something told me not to point out the pieces that didn't fit into the jigsaw puzzle. Somehow you enter my mind from time to time. I hope you stopped running from yourself and your past. The one truth I know of you is your love for a certain someone that I never met. I hope you returned to them and made things right. I hope you're building a future built on what is real and true.

To One Who Lied to Oneself

Not sure why I keep thinking of you. Most people observing from outside our friendship would think us more enemies than friends, but I care about you, so I worry. I have two versions of you in my mind because you've presented two faces to the world. I sometimes wonder how you know who you are when those two halves are so different. Maybe that is why I worry when I see or read a similar story playing out on screen or page. I hope you are well. I hope you didn't push away people who love you because you feel they don't really know you. People only know what you show them and tell them, and the best friends tend to overlook lies whether those lies stem from outright misleading information or simple omission of important details.

To My Larry (and Eddy)

I've been watching "Leave It to Beaver" because I continue to be fascinated by simpler times. I've noticed that the Beaver and Wally aren't the troubled, disobedient kids I once thought they were from quick descriptions of their antics. In most cases, their troubles come from their inability to stand up to encouragement to misbehave from their dear friends. We all have friends who encourage us to do or not do tasks against our better judgement. If your friends don't respect your opinions or worries, it might be wise not to let them force theirs on you. Make good choices and be kind to your friends.

So cryptic are the thoughts in my head. Hopefully, your thoughts do not tangle and swirl like this.