I had a bit of a crisis where I worried this novel wasn't going anywhere. Not what you want the author to confess, but it happens. I finally resolved one of my personal complaints about it, so I am working to incorporate it. Hope you will forgive my hiatus and that you are enjoying what you have read thus far.
Chapter 1: Nature
Chapter 2: Nurture
Chapter 3: Nurture
Chapter 4: Nurture
Chapter 5: Nature
Mother’s angry voice pulled me out of sleep. I couldn’t make out the words, so I strained in the dark to listen. I closed my eyes. The words came into sharper focus and I eavesdropped unabashedly.
Father tried to keep his voice down, but I could still make out his confession, “You think I expected to get laid off?”
“You should have worked harder?”
“Worked harder? How much harder could I work and still make time for you and the girls?”
If my mother responded with words, the crash of an object hitting the wall overshadowed them. My father’s voice lowered to a dull hiss. I looked up from my mattress on the floor. Relief flooded me to see Maggie sleeping peacefully through the discord floating up to us. As the voices maintained a low hum without any discernible words, my head sank to my pillow and I slept.
~~
The next morning, I tiptoed downstairs to sneak some cereal before my mother carried baby Maggie downstairs to fawn over her. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs. A sensation in my gut warned me not to allow my tiny feet to pitter patter across that bare floor. I looked around for anything out of place. Then I saw them. Father’s long feet hanging over the end of the couch.
I tiptoed toward the kitchen, listening intently for any sign of movement. The house slept silently around me. I carefully opened the low cabinet where mother kept snacks for me and quietly opened the plastic container filled with fruit o’s. My first bite crunched loudly. I stopped after a few tremulous bites to listen while I let the cereal soften in my mouth. After cautiously swallowing the sodden mouthful, I lifted the bottom of my shirt to make a shallow bowl. After filling it, I snuck back upstairs to enjoy my snack since Maggie was the heaviest sleeper in the house. Even if she woke, she wouldn’t find fault with me.
By the time she opened her eyes, my snack rested happily inside my tummy. As her eyes met mine, she smiled and reached for me through the slats on the side of her crib. I hurried over to her, taking her hands in mine as she cooed at me. Moments later, the door opened and mother joined us.
“There are my girls. Is my baby ready for breakfast?”
Maggie cooed happily as she soared out of the crib in mother’s arms. I followed in their wake. Mother carefully selected everything she needed to spoon soft mush into Maggie’s mouth, chatting with her all the while. I sat with them, but much like a ghost, mother seemed oblivious to my presence. After a few more minutes of observing her with my sister, I went about making my own actual breakfast. This time, I poured some milk over my cereal selection.
“Hey, kiddo, wanna pour some for me?” Father ruffled my hair as he walked past.
Mother looked up long enough to convey some silent message to him. He nodded as if he understood, and she looked down again. I smiled up at him.
“Do you want fruit o’s or oat squares?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh.” He grinned at me. “The doctor says I should have the oat squares.”
“Okay,” I smiled as I poured him a bowl and placed it before him, pushing the milk closer to him.
That was the last word he or I spoke during our family breakfast. Maggie cooed happily to show love to all of us. Mother only spoke to Maggie. We ate quickly and went about our varied activities. While mother ran out to do some errands, father watched Maggie and I play while scrolling through something on his computer with his brow furrowed and his lips pursed in concentration. Occasionally, he would stop to type frenetically and then he would scroll some more.
“Daddy, play?” I asked after a while.
“Just a minute, Sissy. I have to submit my resumé to one more place,” he offered me a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes and buried himself once more in his computer screen.
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