As my readers know, I am never short on things to obsess over. Even if it doesn’t happen to be Friday the 13th and I didn’t find a shirt with cats dressed as ghosts to wear in celebration, my life always has a certain bustle to it.
All my mom friends are nodding in understanding right now, particularly those who don’t homeschool their kids. Who doesn’t appreciate teachers more when we find ourselves as the sole providers of entertainment, direction, food, and education all day every day for three months? My daughters benefit from a consistent schedule, so I worked one out in my head. Then I wrote it down on paper. Then I posted it on a dry erase board, so they know what my expectations are? We are on day five of this fun experiment.
They haven’t fought me as much as I thought they would. I think this is because I give them a whole hour to play outside (if the weather permits) in the morning and then give them ample free time in the afternoon for watching movies and playing. I also outsourced science and social studies to the television because mama needs some time to clean and cook. (No matter how often my husband extols the virtues of our kitchen fairies, the only person I ever see tidying up in there is me and occasionally him putting a dish in the dishwasher with enough enthusiasm to make me feel I should throw a parade.)
They have, however, started yelling at me if we end or start an activity a minute before or after the posted time. This has made me aware that all of our clocks are on the exact same time. They also get easily off task when daddy pops down for a snack. How dare he be so irresistible?
The Bananarama song “Cruel, Cruel Summer” has been ear worming me this morning. June is determined to make me sad. I was wasting time on Facebook when I should have been sleeping and saw an obituary for a friend of mine. This friend is a decade younger than me and seemed to be getting her life back on track after it got derailed by a divorce. She was reclaiming her life in record time, too, and her resilience is one of the reasons so many loved her. I have seen clickbait posts like this before, so I just closed Facebook and decided to hope for the best until morning.
Morning revealed, that this particular light had indeed gone out. I wasn’t as close to this amazing woman as I would have liked, but her posts tended to bring joy and hope to my life. She was always helping people, bragging about her adorable kids and pups, and sharing her latest ventures. She also shared stories about overcoming a troubled past. Honestly, I hope she knows she is amazing. I hope people don’t forget her stories and that others still find hope in how she overcame addiction.
I know her sister and mother and admire them as well. Along with other her siblings and friends who equate to family, she left three adorable kids behind. I hope they know they will see her again. I hope they know she wishes she would still hold them close and wipe away their tears.
Obviously, I have been trying not to be blubbery and sad this week. I mostly succeeded though I attended a memorial at an ice cream shop the other day and found myself fighting a lump in my throat. Unfortunately, bedtime arrived before the moment of silence, so I didn’t get to participate with others in a moment of silence. That might have been for the best. I would have probably melted myself with tears if I had been able to participate.
Then, this morning, I returned from my walk, which featured a podcast about burdens and how we can carry them better when yoked to someone else, specifically Jesus the Christ, to find out a dear friend had passed. She started out as my boss, but I couldn’t help but think of her as a friend. Her number one rule was “don’t hurt yourself”. She clearly understood the silliness of college students when motivated too carry heavy boxes and huge piles of books around the library.
In more recent years, she has brightened my feed with posts about helping others and her cats. Imagine how much her efforts brightened the lives of others. She supported causes to help assure healthy food for people throughout her community and, of course, the protection of animals. Clearly, she and I are kindred spirits. I just wish we could have shared tomato soup, Chinese food, and French fries a few more times in this life.
Send some positive energy out into the universe for the loved ones of my two friends and make sure you hug your loved ones and appreciate them in the moments we have.
In other news, it looks like this particular page might be more rants than fiction. I’ve moved my fiction to substack, where I intend to start paid subscriptions after I figure out how much would be reasonable to charge for approximately four posts a month. I can’t promise more than that until I shape up and motivate myself better. Think monetary appreciation will do it?
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