Another night found me waking to tumult somewhere in the house. As I blinked sleepily, I realized the voices don’t originate in my parent’s room but closer to the front door. Hushed words tried to keep me from the conversation. That peaked my interest. I tiptoed out of my room and into the hall, but I still couldn’t distinguish actual words from the muffled sounds. I held my breath and leaned further down the stairs. A tiny, older woman stood on the doorstep, holding a long coat defensively around her frail frame as my parents blocked the entrance.
“She is my granddaughter. I don’t care what you tell her as long as you tell her that.” The authoritative voice sounded familiar though I could swear I never heard it before.
“Well, she is our daughter now,” father said.
“And we paid a lot to make that happen…” Mother added.
The new voice scoffed loudly, “You can’t buy a grandmother’s love away,” she paused, taking in squares of darker wallpaper where paintings once hung, “But perhaps I could help you as I would have helped my own daughter.”
“What do you mean?” Mother asked cautiously.
“Perhaps we have been hasty. Would you care to sit and chat? We can show you some pictures of Opera.” Father offered, the tone of his voice growing softer and borderline pleading.
~~
The next morning, my parents watched me with looks of silent contemplation that they usually reserved for the bills that kept coming even when father was between jobs. I tried to keep my eyes focused in my cereal bowl, but being scrutinized so intently made my skin itchy. I kept looking up. They would look away before our eyes could meet and fuss over Maggie, who remained more interested in her soft and squishy breakfast than me. Finally, mother gave father the look.
He sighed and cleared his throat, “Sissy…” He began but mother’s glare rebooted him, “Opera, someone stopped by who wants to meet you.”
“Who?” I tried to hold in my excitement otherwise they would know I had eavesdropped last night.
“Your grandmother.”
I stared at him, unsure how to respond. They obviously took my silence for confusion about who they meant.
Mother reached across the table to place her hand gently on mine, “Not Grandma Jane. Your other grandmother.”
“Grandma,” Maggie joined the conversation excitedly.
Two sharp intakes of breath and wary looks at Maggie, preceded another of those silent exchanges for which parents are famous. Father took over as the voice of the conversation.
“Your Nona Bea would like to meet you, so we invited her over this morning.”
Before I could say anything, the doorbell rang. Father started for the door with me close on his heels. Maggie demanded to be released immediately while mother stayed behind to whisper gently into her ear. As father threw open the door, the tiny woman from night before took a step back from the door, eying father for a moment before turning her eyes to me.
“Opera. It is so nice to finally meet you.”
She crouched down on the threshold and smiled at me. She slowly opened her arms as if to hug me but held her ground. I watched her for a moment. Love radiated from her face and open arms. I wanted to feel that kind of love, pure and just for me. I stepped into her arms and threw my arms around her neck, holding on as she wrapped me into her arms and stood up. Suddenly, I knew the feeling of home. I might have melted into her had a clamor behind me not drawn me back into our reality.
“Maggie, come back,” mother hissed.
“Grandma?” Maggie called from the other side of the doorway.
“Who’s this?” Nona Bea asked as she gently set me down next to my sister.
Our hands instinctively entwined as I proudly presented her, “My baby sister, Maggie.”
“Hi, Grandma,” Maggie offered shyly.
“Call me Nona, honey.”
I glanced up at my parents who exchanged another one of those maddeningly pregnant looks as Nona Bea continued.
“It’s so nice to meet both of my granddaughters,” her eyes grew moist as she turned her eyes toward my parents, saying more to them with her glance than her words.
They nodded silently and then stepped forward to usher Nona Bea into the house and our lives.
~~
With Nona Bea footing the bill and volunteering to keep me from underfoot, my life changed for the better. Suddenly free to learn and grow while nurtured with love instead of neglect, I lifted my head a little higher and found more value in doing things that brought a smile to Nona’s face.
My light faded a little whenever she left me with mother and father. They tolerated me more, it was true but only because I now held the hand that held the purse strings to luxuries. Father’s new position covered our basic needs but left little room for frivolous spending, so the relief Nona taking on most of my expenses, left more free funds. Plus mother seemed more patient with me now that she spent more alone time with my baby sister while I attended a local preschool.
“Sissy,” Maggie called as I bustled through the door.
She raced toward me and buried her face in my hair, “Missed you.”
I laughed, “I just went to school.”
“Sooooo long!”
Mother stepped forward to take her hand, whispering reassuringly as she broke our embrace, “Only a little over three hours. That isn’t so long.”
Nona Bea narrowed her eyes as she handed me my backpack, “You forgot this, sweetie. And a few hours seems much longer when you are young.”
Mother lowered her eyes and scooped Maggie into her arms and reminded her, “You enjoyed your alone time with Mommy while Sissy played with her friends.”
“I wish you would call her by her real name,” Nona Bea exhaled the words of what seemed to be her mantra.
Mother scowled but didn’t vocalize her feelings. Instead, she forced a grimace of a smile and poured on some fake sugar, “Thank you for bringing her home, Bea, but you are always welcome to take her out to lunch.”
“You’re so kind, dear, but she wanted to see her sister.”
“Oh,” Mother’s face softened as she gently set Maggie down in front of me.
We giggled our delight and melded into a happy sibling hug. No hugs for Nona and mother, however. They continued to regard each other like combatants awaiting the signal to leap into the fray.
“I better be going. I have errands to run. You girls have fun, okay?”
“Yes, Nona,” we rushed to smother her in hugs and kisses before she could get out the door.
She laughed, squeezed us both tight, and gave mother a friendly wave, buoyed up by our love. Mother nodded her head, but sighed. Just because she gave up on trying to explain to us that Bea was my Nona not Maggie’s didn’t mean she didn’t complain to my father about how much Maggie loved her. Who wouldn’t love Nona though? If she preferred me to Maggie simply based on our blood connection, she never made it known to us and that made me love her more even though I couldn’t possibly understand it at the time.
Chapter 9: Nurture
