[BOUTIQUE] Journals

[BOUTIQUE] denotes an ongoing endeavor of mine--to share my creations with the world. I spend hours and hours upcycling scraps of paper and fabric into a variety of items that would make lovely gifts for yourself, your family, and your friends. I realize I should move this to etsy at some point, but I want to get a little nest egg going so I can pay them, buy more fabric, and maybe buy better Christmas presents--some people have just been getting cookies for years.

Today's post focuses on journals crafted with my own hobbit hands. The journals measure 5 by 7 inches, leaving  about 4.75 by 7 inches of writing or drawing space for you. Each journal contains 100 unlined pages.

I charge $15 for each journal, which includes shipping and handling to anywhere in the United States.

To reserve an item or obtain more information, please post a  comment, e-mail me at fanklubz at meowmail dot com, message me on facebook, or just mail me money (if you already have my address ;) ) If a journal is sold or pending sale, I will mark it as such.

You should ask if you'd like a journal in another color family. I have a backlog of my creative genius but I didn't want to cause this page to explode. I can also make special orders, but I may have to charge extra depending on the fabric desired.)

Note that for journals covered in similar fabric, I have posted a picture of one journal and listed the number of items available in lowercase text. Also note that I have numbered each one so use the number for the journal you like when contacting me to ensure we understand each other. (So the first picture below is journal #1 and I have 2 journals from that fabric available.)

#1- two AVAILABLE

#2- two AVAILABLE

#3- one AVAILABLE This one has a sheep on the front. Not the same as the following journal.

#4- one AVAILABLE This is not the same as the previous journal. This is the back of the journal. The front has some tree branches and a couple birds.

#5- one AVAILABLE Not the same as the following. I felt they looked different enough to merit their own pictures.

#6- one AVAILABLE Not the same as the one above.

#7- one AVAILABLE Not the same as #2. This one has more distance between the weaves.

#8- one AVAILABLE I don't think this picture captured the deep red of this journal.

#9- two AVAILABLE The pattern on these two journals has a hint of gold to it, which my photography didn't capture.

#10- six AVAILABLE

#11- one AVAILABLE This photo may not do this journal justice. Depending on the light, the pattern or the background appears darker.

#12- one AVAILABLE Notice the bird in the corner. He's watching you.

#13- one AVAILABLE This one doesn't have a bird to watch you.

#14- two AVAILABLE 

#15- two AVAILABLE

#16- one AVAILABLE

#17- three AVAILABLE

#18- five AVAILABLE

#19- one AVAILABLE

[REVIEW] [RECIPE] Silver Borne

My last book of the season features werewolves, shapeshifters, and fae. With nanowrimo berating me for having too few words, I don't think I shall finish it by tonight, so I shall comment on the first two thirds of the book.

Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs follows a cookie-baking, shapeshifting mechanic named Mercy, short for Mercedes. The author has carefully crafted her werewolf mythology but works on the assumption that people have read other books in the series, so I feel like I am playing catch-up. I wonder if readers of an ongoing series would appreciate optional prologues that sum up what they may have missed or forgotten from the previous books...

Anyway, as I unravel underlying facts about the world in which the characters live, I find myself more intrigued by the characters and more invested in seeing them survive the perils that plague them. Hopefully, the promise in the words I have read plays through to the end.

Keep reading, my friends.

Chocolate Chip Pudding Cookies

I saw this recipe posted somewhere. I think my standard chocolate chip cookies are far better, but you can try it for yourself.

1 1/8 c whole wheat flour
1 1/8 c flour
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 c butter, softened
3/4 c packed brown sugar
1/4 c sugar
1 (3.4 oz) pkg instant vanilla pudding
2 eggs at room temp
1 tsp vanillla
2 c semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Combine whole wheat flour, flour, and baking soda in small bowl. Set aside.
3. Cream butter until fluffy.
4. Add brown sugar and sugar and continue to beat until creamy.
5. Add the vanilla pudding mix.
6. Add eggs and vanilla, one at a time.
7. Add flour mixture and stir until fully incorporated.
8. Stir in chocolate chips.
9. Scoop out cookies onto silpat (or parchment paper) covered cookie sheets and bake for 11 minutes.
10. Allow to cool, if you can, and enjoy.

[REVIEW] [RECIPE] Veins

Upon meeting Lawrence C. Connelly, one instantly realizes that the life he breathes into his characters flows through him. Of course, I met him before I got a chance to read any of his pieces. Since he guest lectured for my writer's group, we got to hear him tell a story off the top of his head. I expected great things from this novel. My expectations were exceeded.

This novel carries us through time to see the connection between the characters, the past, the present, and even hints of the future. They cannot exist without each other and some cannot live because of each other. While the main characters basically stalk each other through coal country, something else stalks all of them. To find out what, you'll just have to read it. To find out why, you'll have to read the next couple of novels in the series. (I want to start reading the second one immediately, but I have a different book slated for this final week.)

Coconut Coal Mine Cookies

Honestly, I chose this name for these cookies so they would tie into the novel. I found this recipe this month and figured I should use it to my advantage. Of course, you know I altered the original recipe for my own devious reasons. When you get out of rehab for the nanaimo bars, you can go into rehab for these babies. (I may have a coconut problem.)

2 1/2 c semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 c packed brown sugar
1/4 c butter, softened
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 c flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 c coconut
Rolos, unwrapped

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Microwave 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips for 3 to 5 minutes. Allow to cool slightly.
3. Add brown sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla. Beat until smooth.
4. Add flour and baking powder to the chocolate mixture and stir until combined.
5. Add coconut and remaining 1/2 cup chocolate chips.
6. Scoop out half of dough into 1 tsp round balls.
7. Press Rolo into each cookie ball.
8. Scoop out rest of dough in 1 tsp round balls to cover the first balls and Rolos.
9. Bake for 12-15 minutes.
10. Allow to cool a little, so you don't burn your tongue.
11. As always, have fun in rehab.

[REVIEW] [RECIPE] Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Week three brings the third book in a series: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I've seen most of the movies a few times, yet I somehow haven't read all of the books. (Clearly, I should work on time management.) I usually enjoy the book more than the movie because authors have a few more senses to work with than a director. While we see and hear what happens in the movie, we dig deeper with tastes, aromas, and feelings.

With carefully woven words, J. K. Rowling takes us through a delightful journey back to Hogwarts. We start with another peek into why living in a dormitory would appeal to him even if an ancient castle and magic wands weren't involved. Harry deepens his friendship with Ron and Hermione despite disagreements as they share fears from mundane grades to magical threats. New teachers challenge their minds and magical skill. Other friendships and enmities continue to grow and progress.

Much of the excitement stems from travels to places such as Hogsmeade, where Harry and his friends partake of a variety of treats. To my disappointment, none of the mentioned treats claimed to be cookies. I did a little research, decided most people thought a butter cookie was good enough, gave into my inner laziness and smushed together a few recipes to develop this concoction:

Butterbeer Cookie Sandwiches

These cookies are so decadent that you'll feel like you had to sneak out to Hogsmeade to get them and it was totally worth it.

Cookie Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1/4 c shortening
2 eggs (I used extra large to make super soft cookies.)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 box golden butter cake mix

Filling Ingredients:
4 tbsp butter, softened
1/4 c butterscotch ice cream topping
3-3 3/4 c powdered sugar
4-5 tbsp milk

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Cream together stick of butter and shortening until fluffy.
3. Add eggs, one at a time.
4. Add vanilla extract until combined.
5. Mix in cake mix until fully incorporated.
6. Scoop out cookies onto ungreased cookie sheet.  (I made 32 smaller cookies.)
7. Bake for 8-10 minutes until middles are set.
8. Allow to cool.
9. When cookies have had a chance to cool, beat remaining 4 tablespoons of butter until creamy.
10. Add ice cream topping and beat until uniform in color.
11. Add powdered sugar and milk, alternating until a fluffy frosting forms. My frosting ended up being a shade darker than the cookies.
12. Spread half of the cookies with filling and make sandwiches using the remaining cookies.
13. Place in fridge to let filling set and keep the cookies fresh.
14. Eat and enter the castle via a secret passage...if you dare.

[REVIEW] [RECIPE] Shadow's Son

I read Shadow's Son by Jon Sprunk for week two. This book has been hiding from me for a couple of years now, so I was pleased to uncover it when I went scouting for spooky books to read this month.

I actually met the author before I knew about the book. He visited the local Borders for a book signing and the leader of my writer's group encouraged us to come out and support a local author. I figured why not buy the book since I could get it autographed and brag to my friends that I knew him when...

Anyway, I bought the book and carefully placed it on my bookshelf to be read when I finished the book I was already reading. It was probably one of the "Wheel of Time" books, which means I had forgotten about my new acquisition when I reached the last page. When I remembered and went looking for it, it wasn't where I expected it to be. (Due to my lack of bookshelves, it somehow got squeezed between some books on French and other various languages.)

Now that you have a brief history of my disorganization, let's talk about the book. I shall try to avoid spoilers, but here goes:

The main character of this book, Caim, wraps himself in shadows of mystery to fulfill his job as an assassin. Other mysteries surround him that pull him in contradictory directions. He shifts between the shadows and the sunlight, I'll say to be cryptic and semi-poetic. True to my expectations, the book unveils worlds of intrigue. Despite being an outcast, low-born, and solitary, Caim proves to be central to many plots being woven by the people around him. Of course, his presence seems to bring lots of turmoil, which means lots of heart-racing action and plot twists to keep you reading...

The good news? The next two books in the series, Shadow's Lure and Shadow's Master, are already available (on Amazon), so you'll miss out on the annoying wait for answers if you buy all three of them at once. Or you can just start with the first one...

In the meantime, get in the mood to learn about the shadow's son by making something delicious:

Double Chocolate Shadow Cookies

(I found this recipe in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. These cookies are very similar to Thin Mints but not as crunchy. If you don't like mint in your chocolate, you can leave out the peppermint extract. You can also do half a batch with and half without, but you'll probably want to do the plain batch first and then add half the peppermint  extract suggested by the recipe since peppermint has great strength. I'd also sprinkle some crushed up peppermint candies over the mint ones to help tell them apart.)

Cookie:
1 c butter, softened
1 c sugar
1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 c flour

Shadow coating:
4 c semisweet chocolate chips (use 2 fresh, unopened bags)
1/4 c shortening
1/2 tsp peppermint extract

1. Beat butter until creamy.
2. Add sugar and blend together.
3. Add cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Mix until well-blended.
4. Add egg and stir until combined.
5. Add vanilla and mix.
6. Add flour slowly until combined. (I used my Kitchen Aid mixer, but if you are using a hand mixer, you may want to incorporate the last 1/2 cup by hand.)
7. Divide dough in half. Roll each half into a log and wrap in cling wrap or wax paper.
8. Let chill in refrigerator until firm enough to slice (at least an hour).
9. When ready to bake cookies, preheat oven to 375 degrees.
10. Unwrap chilled dough and slice into 1/4 inch disks. Place disks about an inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
11. Bake 6 to 8 minutes. Edges should be firm.
12. Allow to cool on wire rack.
13. Open the bags of chocolate and resist the urge to eat them. Pour into microwavable bowl. Add shortening.
14. Microwave for 30 seconds. Stir.
15. Repeat until chips are melted and smooth.
16. Add extract if desired and stir in completely.
17. Dip cookies into melted chocolate, gently scraping excess chocolate. You just want a thin coat.
18. Place coated cookies on a cookie sheet covered in wax paper. (Sprinkle peppermint candy pieces over the mint ones if desired.)
19. Place cookie sheets in fridge to allow coating to harden.
20. When coating has hardened, store in airtight container between layers of wax paper (if you and your lucky friends or family members don't devour them immediately).

[REVIEW] [RECIPE] Bones to Ashes

For the first book of the cookie bookie, I selected Bones to Ashes by Kathy Reichs. With "bones" in the title, I figured it passed the requirements for an October read. Luckily, a major theme of the book centered around a "ghost" from Temperance's past returning to reveal secrets.

Having read a few other books in this series, I was prepared for a completely different character than the one seen on Fox's Bones. If you choose to read the novels, treat them like an alternate universe. The literary Temperance possesses more warmth than our favorite television forensic anthropologist. Completely different characters surround her, particularly since she works in Quebec part of the year. This novel centers around numerous bodies that find their way to her attention. Though they are not all connected, some of the less-emphasized cases lead to information that solves the major case.

Since I majored in French (big shocking reveal), I also found amusement in reading through the lengthy bits of French she throws into her novels and then comparing them to the definitions and explanations that follow. She also shares information she came across during her research that sounds a little like history class but ultimately leads to a well-developed story. I don't want to say more since spoilers irritate me when I am about to embark on reading a mystery novel, so I shall move on to what's truly important:

Cookies!

As I started reading this novel, my mind reminded me of a delicious cookie bar I made once upon a time. These bars hail from Canada though not Quebec itself and they are quite addictive, so I figured I would go ahead and spoil myself. You should spoil yourself, too, but don't blame me when you end up in rehab.

NANAIMO BARS

Bottom Layer:
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup granulated white sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 cup sweetened or unsweetened coconut (shredded or flaked)
1/2 cup walnuts or pecans

Middle Layer:
1/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
2 - 3 tablespoons milk or cream
2 tablespoons vanilla pudding powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups powdered sugar

Top Layer:
4 ounces semisweet chocolate
1 tablespoon unsalted butter

Bottom Layer
1. Grease 9X9 inch baking dish.
2. Process coconut and walnuts or pecans in food processor until they are coarsely chopped. Mix with graham cracker crumbs. (If you are starting with whole graham crackers, this is a convenient way to crush them, too, but you might want to measure as you crush so you don't end up with too much dry concoction.)
3. Melt butter over low heat. When melted, add sugar and cocoa powder. Mix until combined.
4. Slowly whisk in egg until the mixture begins to thicken, 1 to 2 minutes. It is important to give the egg time to cook since these are no bake cookie bars.
5. Add vanilla and stir.
6. Add graham cracker mixture and stir until combined.
7. Press into the bottom of pan.

Middle Layer
8. Beat butter until smooth and creamy.
9. Beat in milk, pudding powder, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar until combined.
10. If the mixture remains too thick to spread, add a little more milk.
11. Spread over the bottom layer.
12. Let chill for 30 minutes.

Top Layer
13. Heat chocolate and butter in microwave safe dish for 30 seconds. Stir. Heat another 30 seconds if necessary. (If you use chocolate chips, use an unopened bag. Chips from an opened bag can have moisture in them that makes them uncooperative.)
14. Spread over the middle layer.
15. Chill for about 10 minutes.
16. Cut into small delicious squares.
17. Eat.
18. Enjoy.
19. Share with friends so you'll have someone to party with in rehab.

[REVIEW] Cookie Bookie

A friend of mine turned me onto an idea that appeals to both my belly and my brain. During the month of October, a group of us picks one book a week to read and review. After reading the book (more likely, halfway through), we select or create a cookie recipe that the book inspires or even mentions. Then we share our thoughts on the book and our recipe with the rest of the group. Being the month of hauntings, our books should be themed on ghost and witches and thrills galore. I've selected some titles that may just barely fit the qualifications from my immense backlog. I will be sharing, so be prepared.

Since I am known to tackle too much at once, I have already begun my first book. So far, I am leaning toward delicious cookie bars to go with my first title, but I have read about fifty pages, so I am not committed to that decision yet. Join me later this week for revelations and feel free to share suggestions for cookies or bookies that I might enjoy in later weeks this month.

Also, to see a pro at the cookie and bookie concept, you can check out this website that my friend referred me to:

http://prudencepennywise.blogspot.com/search/label/cookie%20bookie?m=0

(POETRY) I Know

I know that you remember me
I know that you still see
The girl you made cry
Thinking she might die
Before you realized your shame
And hoped I forgot your name

I know that you remember me
But that means nothing, just be
Better to the next girl you meet
Who wears worn shoes on her feet
And makes you remember
That not all are as blessed as you were

I know that you remember me
I know that you have a need
For forgiveness I gave long ago
So enter the world, let it go
And be a better person for knowing me
And the girl I used to be

(POETRY) Remember

How can I remember that which I should forget?
I close my eyes and will stupor to come, yet
The images that fill my head become more real
And I try to step away from them, don't want to feel
The weight of remembering so much detail
Precious moments lost, midnight tears that fell
When I closed my eyes, dared to sleep
Until the tears flooding down my cheek
Brought me back here to remember
This one small piece of forever
That hurts me though I know it shall pass
And those I lost shall be returned at last

(RANTINGS) Let's Be Friends

I take friendship very seriously. In the past, I have not discriminated. I offered a friendly hand to anyone who asked. After getting burned numerous times, I learned some qualities I do not like in friends. I came to treasure those attributes my true friends possess. Herein, I shall list a few of those qualities both negative and positive.

+Accepting. Being an "odd duck" (among the nicer ways people describe me), my best friends don't mind my plethora of quirks. They accept me as I am, don't try to change me, and don't feel shame in being my friend even when others question their sanity for such a choice.

+Considerate. We all have our moments of selfishness. I have found that for some friends the selfishness never goes away. With others, I know that they consider my feelings before their own at the right times. (Not all of the time since I also have a tendency to unwarranted selfishness just like the average person.)

-Forceful. It doesn't happen often, but people have tried to force me to be their friend. If it doesn't happen naturally, insisting that we must get together isn't going to make me your friend. Some personalities should not mix with mine and I have learned the signs of some of them through past experience. Others thought they could force me to change into some twisted image they formed of me in their head. If you really know me, you know that just opened the door to friendship tragedy and they fell out.

-Gossip. You can't talk to a gossip. They spread your news like it was their own. They even twist the truth a little before sharing to amp up the interest. I've also had a friend get mad at me when I didn't share someone else's news with them. I firmly believe people should share the news of their engagements, babies, and promotions in their own time and their own way. Sharing such belief with someone who craves the gossip limelight, however, just makes them more desperate to glean information from your silence.

+Grateful. I don't need a thank you card every time I do something nice, but it is nice when people acknowledge that you do nice things. Since we really have no obligation to be nice to each other, which manifests itself more and more as society devolves into communication of bits and bytes and little real human contact, we should take more notice of friends who take time to think of our needs.

+Honest. The best thing one friend ever said to me was that she liked me much better when I went to church because I was nicer afterward. Of the millions of nice things she has said to me, that one sticks with me. She was right and I needed to be reminded to be a better person, particularly to her. For instance, I appreciate people who aren't afraid to tell me that they don't like a certain type of cookie that I make. Otherwise, I may keep giving them those cookies over and over. You get the idea.

+Humor. I love a good joke. I like people who make me laugh. Of course, we all know that some life events don't need humor, but on the average day, I like friends who are able to make me laugh...even when it hurts a little.

+Listening. Some of my best friendships center around being able to just talk to someone. The best of my friends know that once I get an annoyance off my chest, it is gone. I don't really hate that person who rudely talked through a lesson I taught--I just can't understand being that rude. These friends don't try to fix it. They know that getting it out helps me and they know my ears are available for their soul-baring needs and my lips are sealed.

+Loyal. My definition of loyalty doesn't mean my friends can only be friends with me. Sometimes, they may disagree with me when I fight with a mutual friend. I expect them to share their views with me instead of talking behind my back. I also feel justified in feeling they should have my back when someone is tearing me down even when I may never find out that they passively listened while someone told lies about me.

-Needy. Ever have a friend insist on calling you fifteen minutes before you were supposed to meet up and insist you stay on the phone with them until you head out? I have, even after I reminded them I needed to finish some things before I could keep our lunch date. That was the first of about twelve phone calls from this person that day. Sadly, this was the norm and nothing I said could make them realize their neediness just made me draw away.

-Possessive. When your friends think they own you, your life can become quite stressful. I have had friends get mad at me for only spending six of seven days hanging out with them. Another friend tried to get me to go to lunch with her when she knew I had other plans. When I refused, she showed up at my other meeting and glared at me from the back of the room. Once, she even lied about having an emergency when she knew I had plans with someone else. When I came to check on her, she had another friend there and told me to have a seat--so they could both ignore me. Needless to say, all her current emergencies go unanswered by my friendship 9-1-1 service.

+Respect. Real friends don't forget to value their friends and show respect. Even if you think I sit at home all day with my feet propped up, bon bons balanced on my ever expanding belly, and the remote plastered to one hand, you should still ask before you make plans for me. True friends show respect by asking even when they think they already know the answer. Of course, they still cover their ears when I start to sing, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T..." or any other song. They aren't crazy, after all.

-Secret. I've had people assure me that we were friends but follow those words with an admonition to keep it secret. If you don't want people to know you are my friend, you aren't my friend and that is fine with me.

+Sisterly. I have many friends who are more like sisters than anything else. Recently, I got to see one of these friends for the first time in four years. We instantly started giggling like schoolgirls as we tried on dresses and caught up on events since our last phone conversation. A couple of other friends of this caliber amaze me because they get me and my quirks. I'll be ranting about something and they'll say something along the lines of, "Don't they know that you don't like that?" And I didn't like that and clearly never have. And even after we fight over something as ridiculous as whose turn it was to wash the dishes, we still love each other fiercely.

-Users. Some people have proven to only be my friend when they need something. Even sadder, they were rude about me helping them, making me wait fifteen minutes while they yammered on and on with someone else before giving me the details of the favor they wanted. Real friendships require give and take from both friends.

Good friends can survive anything. If you can live thousands of miles apart, don't talk for months or even years, and still feel like you've always been side by side, you have formulated a true friendship. Treasure it.

(RANTINGS) My Pledge As a Writer

 I thought this would be an appropriate 100th post.

I pledge to...

...seek stories that need told.

Sometimes, my muse visits me in my dreams. She whispers in my ear as I watch the news. She even sneaks into my brain when I am focused on something important that a friend is saying and plants a seed. It is my vow that I shall listen to these notions and seek out more.

...tell those stories.

Through this journal and other writing ventures, I will bring more of these ideas to the page, whether it be this one or actual paper. It does no good if I tell stories that no one hears, so all must be revealed at some point.

...listen to my readers.

If you have a comment on a piece you read, make it. I love feedback. Of course, the goal is to become so popular that someday I can't individually address each of you, but right now, you have the privilege of my prompt responses.

...respond to comments and suggestions (incorporating the ones that will improve my writing).

See above.

...entertain you.

From time to time, I may post something that isn't exactly to your taste, but my interests are so varied that I hope you'll always give me a second chance. Come on back. Let me amuse you.

...support my fellow writers.

I have been offering such support by encouraging other writers that I know. I also buy and/ or request a lot of books for all the gift-giving holidays. I realize I should probably post some links to some of my fellow writers, so that will be another goal for my summer of self-realization.

...keep dreaming.

If I don't keep dreaming big, I will stop writing. Then what will I have to show for my years of devotion to the verbal arts?

...keep writing.

Every word that I put to paper or page brings me close to perfecting my art. I shall keep writing whether people admit they find amusement in my words or not.

...keep hoping.

With enough time, maybe my hopes that people will recognize and reward my efforts can be realized.

...keep sharing.

That's the real point behind this blog. I intend to keep sharing bits of my self-proclaimed genius with those patient enough to bear with my rocky patches and keep reading and offering support.

...keep posting.

So keep checking back. My efforts shall continue to appear on this blog for scrutiny and adulation.

(RANTINGS) Marriage and Loyalty

I wake up each morning next to the same man I married almost four years ago. I can't imagine having anyone else at my side. He helps me work on projects around the house, encourages me to chase my dreams, offers to buy me Slurpees and notebooks, holds my hand when I'm nervous, and puts up with those little quirks that define who I am and make other people want to put me in a box and mail me to a galaxy far, far away. He also drives me crazy from time to time because we can't see eye to eye on everything. For instance, he refuses to eat his vegetables and a variety of other foods, so we often eat the same five basic meals over and over. Even though I know I drive him crazy as well, we don't intend to call it quits. My own experience with remaining committed to making it work and working through the rough times pumps the blood through the heart of this rant.

I keep seeing relationships fall apart. I understand that not all relationships will work. Sometimes, two people find that they really do have irreconcilable differences. I even understand how some people can draw apart after tragedy, such as the loss of a child, befalls them. In other instances, one or both partners are too different from the facade they put on during courtship. Many people work through these things, but when they can't, they part ways. Logically, I understand this. Walking away from something that absolutely will not work makes perfect sense. So my rant centers around...

Most people on their wedding day declare that they have committed to be with one person "until death (or the courts) should us part." If things go sour, you try to fix them. If that seems like too much work, you should end that relationship before you enter another one. I see too many shows and movies that glorify cheating on your spouse. Most of the time, this happens after the spouse has proven to be an unconscionable heel, but it doesn't make the actions of the cheating spouse right. Two negatives make a positive in multiplication, but that rule doesn't carry into interpersonal relationships.

Why?

First of all, when you cheat on someone, you hurt that person. Even if you think that they don't care, their feelings can still be hurt.

Second, you hurt yourself. When you have a new significant other within a short period of time after your divorce, people tend to guess that the "new" relationship started before the other one officially ended. Even if your former spouse started as a handsome prince and somehow became the ogre who eats goats who try to cross his rickety bridge, he still has some claim to your loyalty until you both agree it isn't going to work. Let them know. Let them go. Then move on to the next show.

Third, people who cheat once are likely to cheat again. How can you promise someone new that you will love them completely when you didn't keep the promise the first time...or the second...or the third.

Fourth, if someone chases or dates you when you are already in a relationship, you can't expect them to remain as interested when the illicit thrill begins to fade away. (On a side note, if they are chasing you and telling you how much they respect marriage and family, while you are married, you might want to give your logic circuits a quality check if you believe them.)

Fifth, you damage relationships that were developed as a result of your marriage to the spouse you cheated on. Mutual friends will feel forced to pick sides. Family members will usually side with the one who shares their DNA. No matter how much you want some things to remain the same, these relationships will be altered forever.

That was very negative, so let's take a little look at...

THE FLIP SIDE

In my limited experience with marriage, which I expect to last not only throughout the rest of my life but through all eternity, I have found the following benefits to being loyal to one person.

First, I have someone to build a life with. When tough decisions come my way, I don't have to make them alone.

Second, when I run out of steam on a project, I have someone to help me finish that last tedious step of a project. Just recently, my husband and I took turns working on a room that needed remodeled. We each played to our skills and met in the middle for the harder stuff.

Third, I have someone to listen to me when I rant about things that drive me crazy. He may not always agree, but he listens before he offers his own input on my vexations.

Fourth, I know that when I am sad and crying, I have someone to just hold me tight and let me listen to his heart beat until I can explain the reason for my tears...but if I don't want to talk, he doesn't press me.

Fifth, a year ago, we helped his grandparents celebrate sixty years of marriage. It was wonderful to see so many people who existed (or had their lives enhanced) by a couple who has stuck by each other through sixty years of ups and downs.

I could go on and on, but I think it all boils down to this:

A love worth chasing in the first place is worth fighting for even when it is just yourself you are fighting against. Make sure you keep the spark going, both of you. No one person can keep a relationship vibrant alone. (That could lead to a long lecture on friendship...)

Ch-ch-changes?

So I am contemplating some changes to the format of this blog. I desire to work on my novels, as well as reward my faithful readers, so I am considering some changes to this blog. Since I have a deep love for lists, I will list some of my thoughts. The numbers will also help those of you who want to offer feedback as to which changes you would enjoy and which you would find terribly disturbing (or undesirable).

1. I will still post an occasional short fiction piece, since I need an outlet for little ideas from time to time.

I am also considering posting...

2. ...poems.
3. ...short essays (or rantings) on various subjects that interest (or aggravate) me.
4. ...recipes.
5. ...reviews of books, movies, and music that strikes my fancy.
6. ...other random things that seem like they may be of use outside of my head.

What do you think, dear readers?

Secrets of the Boss 12

Start Here

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

“Hey, Pole. Let’s grab something to eat.”

“Well…” Officer Polsen’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror.

“I’m sure Miss Holden would like something.” Officer Wason continues.

I nod my head and Officer Polsen inclines his head. “I guess it will be okay.”

“I love that place.” Officer Wason points at a restaurant nestled between a vacuum repair shop and a stationery store.

Faded lettering names the place Nonni’s. As we enter through a heavy wooden door, a tiny waitress with greying hair motions for us to seat ourselves. We take seats in the corner beside the door to the kitchen. We listen to dishes clattering and a man barking out orders in an accented voice until our food arrives. The fragrant scent of fresh herbs and slow-roasted tomato sauce loosens our tongues.

“We talked to the men who own the batting cages, but none of them fits your description of the man who…” Officer Polsen focuses on the fading bruises that add color to my face.

“He could be a silent partner.” Officer Wason suggests.

I shrug. “So how do we find him?”

Both officers gaze at me in silence. To hide their lack of response, they fill their mouths with pasta. As they slowly chew, they make eye contact and Officer Polsen nods at his partner. He turns to me and offers me a reassuring smile as he swallows hard.

“If we don’t find him soon, you’ll be moved to a safe house.”

“You’ve been guarding my place for a couple of days and…” I protest.

“Nothing has happened?” Officer Wason puts down his fork and leans toward me. “But we’d feel more comfortable protecting you in a place with less activity.”

“I suppose.” My voice trails off.

We fill the ensuing silence with crunching and chewing. I poke at an immense meatball, pushing it around my plate half-heartedly as my appetite subsides. At first, I intently watch the trail of sauce that follows the meatball around my plate. Eventually, I notice a blue glow growing near our table.  My eyes move upward slowly.

“Look.” Larry says.

I freeze except for my eyes. They follow the trail of Larry’s glowing finger. Looking over Officer Wason’s shoulder, I see a familiar face. His dark hair and orange skin looks more natural under the soft glow of the overhead lights.

From this distance, I can’t hear any of the words flowing from his lips, but I can tell by his grand hand gestures that front of him failed him in some way. As his tirade draws to a close, his eyes find their way to me. His hands stop in midair, slowly sinking to his side as his mouth opens again.

“That’s him.” I choke on the words.

The officers turn as one, standing to shield me as they draw their guns. With a harsh word from the boss, the man at his side reaches for his firearm. He glances worriedly from his boss to my protectors.

“Don’t try it.” Officer Wason warns as he takes a step forward.

The first gunshot deafens the room. I fall to the floor, covering my ears with my hands.

*

I lose track of time. Despite the ringing filling my ears, I begin to hear voices again. I can’t distinguish the words of the boss and his associate, but those closer to me add their music to the din that deafens me.

“Get up.” Officer Wason hisses at me.

I stand slowly, stepping toward him numbly.

“Get her out of here.” Officer Wason pushes me into Officer Polsen’s arms.

He wraps them around me protectively, shielding me with his body as more gunshots shatter my ability to hear. I move with him as he pushes me toward the kitchen door. Warm breath caresses my neck as we push through the door. The clatter of washing dishes and preparing food continues despite the activity in the dining area. No one even glances in our direction as Officer Polsen ushers me through the back door.

As the door slowly closes behind us, Officer Polsen pushes me against the wall to survey the kitchen. More gunshots erupt. Then only kitchen sounds greet our straining ears. Officer Polsen turns the knob attached to the speaker on his shoulder. I hold my breath as we listen for any sound to give us closure.

“He’s down.” Static almost obscures the whispered voice.

 As Officer Polsen looks back to me, he reaches out to touch my face. His fingertips make me aware of the sticky liquid on my cheek. I reach up until the tips of my fingers touch his, pulling them away to look at the rich red blood that stains them.

“Where did they hit you?” As he leans in to gently brush the hair back from my face, I see a red slash across his cheek.

“I think it’s you.” I point, letting my finger linger less than an inch from his face.

He raises his free hand to touch his own cheek. “You’re right. Nothing to worry about.”

A burst of static stifles my words as Officer Wason’s voice crackles from the speaker. “Is she okay to make a positive I.D.?”

I nod my head and Officer Polsen relays my assent. As we pass through the kitchen, the silence strikes me. A cluster of kitchen staffers watches us warily from their post in front of the freezer. I follow Officer Polsen with slow shuffling steps. As the door swings open, I focus on the windows. Jagged shards of glass hang from most of the frames.

I keep walking forward until Officer Wason holds up a hand to stop me. “I’m sorry to ask this, but could you look down just long enough to tell us if you recognize this man.”

As I look down at what is left of the man’s head, my stomach heaves. My heart, however, feels calm again. Larry’s ghostly image smiles at me and fades into nothingness. Officer Polsen puts his hand on my arm.

“Are you okay?”

With relief, my eyes lift to his face. “That’s him. I’ll be okay.”

“We need you to answer a few questions and then we’ll take you home. Okay?”

I nod and turn away as someone throws a tablecloth over the boss’s face, covering it as completely as he once covered his secrets.

~~~

Was this thrilling conclusion satisfying? Did I answer your questions? What do you think?

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Secrets of the Boss 11

Start Here

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

“…safe house?”

I catch two words as I open the bedroom door. Officers stand at the windows on either side of the door, peering through cracks between curtains and blinds. Rough hands rest against the grips of their guns. As I enter the room, the officer to the right of the door whirls to face me, hand flexing over his gun grip for a moment. The other, whose face reveals a few more years, just flicks his eyes in my direction before resuming his survey of the world outside.

“Is something going on?” I ask.

“No…” The younger officer pauses as if to say more.

The soft buzz of his phone fills the silence. He slowly moves his hand from the gun to his phone, watching me with wary eyes as he answers.

“Officer Daniels.”

He listens quietly. “Yes. That sounds good. We’ll be here.”

As he ends the call, he turns his attention back to me. “You need to get dressed, ma’am.”

My stomach lurches. “Why?”

“Officers Polsen and Wason are on their way to pick you up. They have some questions.”

He shrugs as I throw him a questioning look. I return to my bedroom, throwing on baggy jeans and an even baggier hoodie. By the time I step back into the living room, someone is rapping harshly on the door. Office Daniels motions for me to get behind him. I disappear into his shadow as his partner reaches for the door.

As the door swings open, Officer Polsen cheerfully asks, “What took you so long, Neal? Daniels give you some of his years?”

The older man guffaws and claps each of the newcomers on the shoulder. “Just taught him something they used to teach in my day—caution.”

The repartee stops there as all eyes seek my face.

“Ready to help us solve this case?” Officer Polsen breaks the uncomfortable silence.

“Yes.” I answer more hastily than I intend.

“Let’s go then.” Wason says.

As I follow them into the parking lot, Officers Wason and Polsen warily scan the parked cars, shielding me as much as they can without being too obvious.

I breathe a sigh of relief as they help me into the squad car. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry. You’ll recognize the place.” Officer Wason turns enough to offer me a half smile.

I shake my head, lean back, and close my eyes.

*

My eyes pop open as the car comes to a stop. I look out the window to see the chain link fence that surrounds the batting cages. A chill washes over me yet fades before Officer Wason opens the door for me. He scans one half of the empty parking lot as Officer Polsen surveys the lot closest to the buildings.

“Why are we here?”

“To look around again. We missed something before.” Officer Wason answers.

“And I am here because…” I peer through the chain link fence as Officer Wason fumbles with a heavy ring of keys.

“Just look around. Maybe you’ll see what Mr. Chase saw...something we’d miss.”

As he pulls the chain free, we all step inside as one. The aroma of worn leather, glove oil, and wood has been infused into the dust our feet kick up. I almost expect the crack of a bat and the whir of high velocity spheres whizzing past me.

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t even know what he was looking for.”

“Mr. Chase wanted to be a journalist. Think like a journalist.” Officer Polsen advises.

“Who? What? Why? Where? How?” I mumble.

Officer Wason nods. “Why is money. Where is here. How and what have answers here, too.”

As he stops speaking, he steps toward one of the cages. A worn, laminated sign reads “Cage closed.”

He pulls open the door, which squeals in protest. He reaches into a plastic tub filled to the brim with baseballs that sits just inside the door. His eyes narrow as he lightly tosses the ball from one hand to the other. He selects a ball from another tub and juggles the two balls. As they finally come to rest, one in each hand, he walks over to the ball gun. He glances over at me and loads one of the balls into the machine. Seconds later, the ball flies past my head and slams into the fence behind me. I jump as it bounces back to come to rest at my feet.

“Seems to be working. Pick up that bat.” He points to a battered length of wood half-buried in the dust.

I pick it up without thinking. I jump when another ball passes by my head, forgetting the bat in my hands. He grabs more balls from the first barrel and feeds them into the machine.

“Go ahead. Hit one.” Officer Wason encourages as another ball slams into the fence.

“I’m really not much of an athlete.” My shoulders slump and I drop the bat.

He ducks under another pitch to grab the bat. “It’s easy. Just like this.”

As the next ball leaves the barrel of the ball gun, he lines up his shoulders. The bat and ball connect and fine powder fills the air. The cloud glows blue as Larry’s face smiles at me until the powder settles to the ground.

“Now we know how and what. We just have to figure out who the boss is.”

“Looks like this place isn’t opening any time soon.” Officer Polsen observes as he gently guides me out of the cage and leads me toward the car.

Officer Wason follows close on our heels after scooping a couple more baseballs into an evidence bag. The plastic crinkles as he places the bag into the trunk. We maintain relative silence as we pull out of the parking lot. I don’t hear anything but the hopeful thought that as we draw closer to solving Larry’s murder, we guarantee my safety.

More

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I'm not sure my little notes to you have been distinguished as well as I hoped. This could be confusing, so I apologize if one of these notes looked like a really odd addition to the story. As of now, I must advise my readers that I'll have to start charging a small fee for my reading and editing services since it makes me have to take time off of my own writing projects. (To the person who sent me a piece a couple of weeks ago, I am getting to it soon. Your piece preceded my new policy.) I do feel a thrilling conclusion to this current piece coming soon, so keep reading.