Thursday, July 30, 2015

[FICTION] Too Big for My Fishbowl

No one understands the plight of a fish. You can't stop swimming unless you also wish to stop breathing. Aside from that, the environment in which you thrive makes you salty, and most people find salty personalities unappealing. Luckily, my personality hasn't saved me from moving in with some crazy humans. They seem like nice people. Really, I mean that. But that doesn't mean they don't do things that make me uncomfortable. I am hoping that if I list my complaints here, I can release the stress that has rippled through my fins since my arrival.

1. The female keeps grabbing my nose and calling it an anomaly. She also can't keep her hands off my fins. She reaches for them while declaring how "shiny" they are as her pupils dilate and a mindless grin consumes her lips.

2. They live with penguins. They plan to eat me. I even heard them discussing how easy it would be to "make my acquaintance" when the humans go to sleep.

3. I have lost count of how many times the female has screamed "kitty" just to watch me dive for cover. This is no small feat when one is a fish out of water.

4. Then there are the comments about putting me in the fish reader and reading all the pretty words. I have no idea what it means. She laughs when she says it. I am petrified.

5. And she spent an hour telling me what words rhyme with my name. Thus she has begun calling me Silly Gilly and telling me that I must love Milli Vanilli. Once more, I have no clue what she means.

6. Also, this happened:







Really? Do I look like I belong in this particular fishbowl? Personally, I think it makes me look fat.














Rescue me! (I think she needs friends to talk to who aren't quite as fishy as me.)