[PREACHY] Raising a Barn

I felt the following thoughts might require a new warning label. 

All who read further, consider yourself warned!

With social media to help us keep up on the happenings of friends far away, cell phones to give us instant access to people almost everywhere they go,  inventions to wash our dishes and clothes, and so many other mass-produced products to save us time, we remain busy, far too busy to participate in our own lives. We make excuses, avoid responsibilities, and wiggle free of committing a little time to those we love.

I have an image in my head of the supports for a barn slowly rising toward the sky. The men and women helping to build this structure don't require payment. They are friends and neighbors, who have come together to sweat in the sun until their job is done. They work together for the greater good. This concept gets lost in the shuffle of me, mine, want, and desire. We simply don't have the time to help one another with daily tasks, let alone the big jobs that may happen once in a lifetime.

On occasion, I remind friends how long it has been since we spent time together. The list of their obligations quickly flows from their lips. I counter with an offer to join them for canning, sewing, cleaning, even shopping. Skeptical looks always follow. Have we come so far from quilting bees and gathering at harvest time to preserve the fruits of our labors? We are all busy, but can't we make some tasks easier by sharing them with friends? I feel like I accomplish more with an extra set of hands, and I even feel better after peeling peaches with a friend all afternoon than I would watching television with my crafts scattered around me.

The concept of helping others clearly didn't originate with me. The scriptures remind us again and again that in helping others we help ourselves, whether the person we helped is able to help us later or our action improves our character or hones our skills. Among the stories that enters my mind is the familiar tale of the good Samaritan. The man least loved and least respected took the time to stop to help a man whom others who claimed to be in the service of their God took such great effort to avoid. He even exerted more effort to make sure the man was cared for until he was well enough to return to his own home. That story alone should  be enough to inspire us to reach out to each other.

With your indulgence, I'm going to share some scriptures and my thoughts on them as they apply to the ideas swirling in my mind. (I just hope it makes sense outside of my head. That is always the trick, isn't it?)

Mosiah 18:9 (Book of Mormon)

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life--

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

How often do our friends weep without receiving a shoulder to cry on? We've forgotten how to just love those who have suffered a great loss. We feel like we have to fix it, and when we can't, we just step away and hope for the best. Sometimes, you need to drop by with a casserole that will never be eaten or offer to hold a hand and listen to silence, weeping, or bittersweet memories. Even when we mourn our own loss, we can offer comfort to loved ones as we seek solace. Never underestimate the power of togetherness to help assuage the pain of a wounded heart.

1 Thessalonians 5:14

Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

Admittedly, far too many people look for handouts, but we still need to have enough compassion to help those who truly can't help themselves. My husband and I donate to an organization that actually helps people learn to work within their limitations. If you are too weak to run, you can still walk. You may be terrible at math but really good at hammering nails. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. It helps us remember that we need each other and need not spend our lives completely alone. It also helps to remember that others can benefit from our counsel. If we know that the main road is covered in ice, wouldn't we warn our friends not to drive on it unless absolutely necessary?

Doctrine and Covenants 112:11

(Modern scriptures of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)

I know thy heart, and have heard thy prayers concerning thy brethren. Be not partial towards them in love above many others, but let thy alove be for them as for thyself; and let thy love abound unto all men, and unto all who love my name.

Ephesians 4:32 

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Sometimes we feel we have nothing to offer, but we can always offer a prayer, even for those we don't know or live too far away for us to easily reach out to them. Though they may not always deserve it, loving our fellow human beings actually benefits us more than holding grudges or resentments. We should willingly serve them when we can without hoping for a big payout or grand praise. By the same note, while we shouldn't expect others to offer us assistance, we probably would receive it more often if we offered our two hands in service more willingly. Many of my friends stepped up to help me with my wedding plans simply because they knew I would do the same for them. It helped make the day less stressful and made me feel closer to them.

1 Timothy 1:18-19

That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;

Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

Philippians 2:2

Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

Mosiah 18:28 (Book of Mormon)

And thus they should impart of their substance of their own free will and good desires towards God, and to those priests that stood in need, yea, and to every needy, naked soul.

When we recognize that helping others makes the world a better place, we will find joy. We will find peace for ourselves and those we love by sharing our skills. We may have moved beyond barn raising, but we can support our friends and family by offering a hand in service from time to time. Maybe today is the day we need to set aside that movie we want to watch in order to spend time with our friends whether it be watching their kids so they can clean, helping them prepare dinner for their family, or just listening...

Defying Loneliness

Here's a slightly more upbeat piece of writing for your consideration. Feel free to leave comments, offer love, and tell your friends.

When I’m alone, every movement takes on more meaning. Even the gentle flap of a tissue seems sinister or reassuring depending on my mood. Today, the slight motion startled me. I bounded from my seat on the couch, reaching for the nearest weapon. The slender, wooden handle of the broom reassured me as I slowly spun to face every possible hiding place along the length of the long, narrow room. No creature stirred in the silence. I took a deep breath. As I relaxed and released my hold, the broom tapped to rest against the wall.

I jumped again as the doorbell played its jaunty tune. I glared in the direction of the front door before tiptoeing toward it. I paused an arms length from the door, pressing my body against the wall. I reached one long slender arm out until my fingertips rested on the worn, brass knob. Tumblers clicked against each other in the stillness.

“Someone is in there.” A soft voice insisted from the other side of the door.

“Then ring the bell again.” Another voice answered in similarly soft tones.

“I don’t know. Should we really bother them if…”

“You want to try the next house?” The second voice interrupted impatiently.

The bell sounded again, causing me to jump a little though I expected it. After a few more moments of silent waiting, I edged over until I could see through the peephole. Two young girls in jeans and matching baby blue sweatshirts huddled together on my porch. The blonde gnawed her upper lip as she surveyed the street. The redhead rubbed her slender hands together in hopes of wiping away streaks of black grime.

“I can’t believe you forgot your cell.” The blonde’s lips barely moved as she hissed recriminations.

The redhead rolled her eyes and shook back a wave of deep red tresses. “Well, if you had one…”

I slipped the chain on the door and opened the door a crack. As I peered out at them, the two girls turned toward me and smiled shyly. They made no move to speak, so I broke the silence.

“Yes? Can I help you?” My lips pulled down as my voice cracked.

“We were hoping to use your phone…” The blonde explained.

“…or you could call a tow truck for us…” The redhead offered as she observed my face.

I watched them a few more seconds while I weighed my worries against the nagging loneliness that caused me to jump at the slightest movement. “Come in.”

I fumbled with the chain, willing my arthritic fingers to work. Finally, the chain fell free clanking against the doorframe as I welcomed my unexpected guests. They exchanged looks before gently linking their pinky fingers and stepping into the narrow hallway that separated the living room from the dining room.

“Please have a seat.” I motioned toward the couch as I reached for the phone. “Make your call while I make us some hot cocoa.”

“Thank you.” Relieved smiles stretched across their faces as the blonde reached for the phone.

As I turned toward the kitchen, the phone beeped out a number. The soft murmur of her voice rushed me as I put water on to boil. While the water heated up, I moistened a dishtowel and returned to the living room. As I offered the moist cloth to the redhead, she flashed a warm smile and took it gratefully. She gently wiped it along the streaks of grime on her hands. While the blonde offered directions to the person on the other end of the phone, I settled into the overstuffed recliner and pulled a faded quilt across my lap.

The kettle allowed enough time for introductions before it whistled shrilly. When I returned with a tray loaded with cocoa packets, mugs, and the steaming kettle, the girls politely inquired about my quilt. Soon I found my mind and my words wandering to memories of my grandmother helping me cut out my first quilt and the disastrous product I stitched together before she offered more guidance. More stories followed until the doorbell rang. I stifled a sigh as I slowly lifted myself from the chair.

“Looks like help has finally arrived.” I said brightly as the girls bounced out of their seats and started for the door.

I trailed after them, feeling pleasant euphoria slipping away. As they reached the door, they paused. A look passed between them that carried great weight. They nodded agreement and turned toward me.

“Thank you so much.” The redhead smiled warmly before continuing less assuredly. “If we came back to visit, could you teach us more about quilting?”

“Maybe even help us make one?” The blonde offered as she exchanged looks with her friend.

Their tentative questions brought a smile to my lips and warmth to my heart. “I’d love that.”