Mama Needs Money [RANT]

People keep telling me I should write a book. This usually follows a story about my early years. Instead of writing such a book, perhaps I should see how many people would wisely pay me not to share my experiences with them. How much would you pay for me to stop talking endlessly about cats, childhood trauma, and how I became addicted to chocolate?

But why would I possibly need money? Possibly to fund my corset, chocolate, cat, and fabric addictions? Maybe? 

In actuality, the first issue is an age-old one. As a mother, I was offered the opportunity to stay home with my children instead of outsourcing their care to others. My husband felt that the pay wouldn’t be enough to offset childcare if I worked in an office or a bookstore or a library. And I wasn’t sure I’d want to miss their little faces for forty hours or more a week.

However, the constant need to advocate for extracurricular activities for my kids is exhausting. Yes, I have many random skill sets, but I didn’t pursue teaching as a career because I lack some of the required facets of a good teacher—unlimited energy and patience, for instance. This means I get to hear how bored they are despite my best efforts to entertain. Besides, as their mother, they don’t always give me the same attention they give to someone else who is sharing knowledge with them. 

I want my children to learn and have fun. One of them definitely does better with a definite and consistent schedule repeated every day. This is my second summer trying to execute such a schedule. Thanks to advice from a group of like-minded mothers of faith, they are responding better to my attempts to keep their math skills sharp. What was that secret? Play board games with them and let them do the math, checking for accuracy, of course. They haven’t been as cooperative as I try to give them some life skills like cleaning, organizing, and resisting the urge to hoard.

On top of that, they frequently complain that they want to see their friends. So I try to make that happen. But guess where their friends are? In camps. Most camps seem to average about $300 to $400 per child for a week. That can really cut into the budget, so we stuck with the one camp that charges about $150 per child per week, but that leaves us flailing for the rest of the summer.

On top of that, a kitchen mishap has resulted in me needing to replace some cookbooks and magazines. I ended up photographing the recipes I like or still need to try from the magazines because I bought them so long ago, that people willing to part with them were charging upwards of $50. I may need to up the dosage on my heart medicine to recover from that sticker shock, but a couple of the books were reasonably priced, so I am convincing myself that it is okay to buy them or ask for them for my birthday.

In short, I technically have a very small cash stream. I finally have two paid subscribers on substack, so I will be able to afford those cookbooks by the end of the year. I also get the occasional interested party who wants to buy some of my up-cycled journals or other crafts, so feel free to send an inquiry if you need a gift for an upcoming birthday or other event. After all, it is never too early to plan for Christmas in July. (It might be too late depending on how extreme you want to get though, so choose carefully.)

Wrapping Up Summer [RANT]

This week’s offering on substack was free for all because I felt like it. I also feel like I need to write more fiction, yet here I am typing up a travelogue of my week. It started out mellow with church and family time.

Monday was less mellow. Having all three of my loves home resulted in lots of near misses. Most notably, my husband came rushing to the bathroom right after I told him I needed to pee. He was surprised to find me washing my hands. Apparently, I have created the expectation of being able to empty my bladder at the speed of sound. Maybe that is why I am so exhausted—trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations.

Maybe it is because my body woke me up at 6:30 in the morning on Tuesday and my brain decided I needed to stay awake even though I wanted to get a little more sleep before our big day at the water park. This was all of the girls in household’s first trip to a water park. Much to my shame, I did not contemplate the enclosed tunnels of the tube slide before talking my youngest into joining me on it. As soon as I realized how dark our short journey would be, she started screaming that it was too dark. Too late for me to do anything but try to comfort her and promise it would be over soon. She wouldn’t even try the lazy river with me after that. She did love leaping from lily pad to lily pad in another small pool with the assistance of a rope lattice and, of course, she adored the kiddie slides that she was almost too tall for. 

Her sister adored the tube slides. She kept running off and disappearing to go down them. I was not really surprised that my daredevil was into it. I may have been mildly amazed she was willing to carry a tube up four flights of stairs though. That kept me from going over and over again though the girls’ friend kept trying to convince me to go with her. Three of us did ride the family raft where the lifeguard informed me he hated his job. His opinion didn’t change when he accidentally slid down behind the group ahead of us and then had to run up the aforementioned four flights of stairs. I felt bad for him, but I had seen him flirting with some guests closer to his own age while we waited in line, so it wasn’t all bad.


My sweeties were disappointed when we rushed them out about fifteen minuted before closing. But we stopped at Wendy’s which perked them up and made my wallet happy. Be prepared to spend about as much on food as the ticket price for one person at a waterpark. Making happy kids can be expensive, but those smiles are so worth it. (So save up. Goodness knows I want to.)

On Wednesday, we decided to rest a little as our feet hurt from being on them for about eight hours while soaking in chlorinated water. We had some other friends over for board games and movies. They brought me veggies and meringues and peaches as hostess gifts, so clearly we should spend more time together. 

Thursday, I finally got to celebrate my birthday with a friend. We apparently only go to this one particular Mexican place for my birthday, which is a shame because the food is delicious. Fun was had though I probably spent way too much time talking about people who don’t treat me well. I punctuated it with stories of fun with my cuties though, so maybe I wasn’t as big of a pain as I fear I was.

Hope your week was enjoyable and your feet don’t hurt.

Caught Between Celebrations [RANT]

This proved an exhausting two weeks at Casa Hobbit. Camp ended the week before last so my babies were home to be entertained by me. Their father also took off most of last week to spend time with us. Has anyone noticed how differently each of us defines spending time?

Despite all the quality family time, I did finish beta reading two novels. One was the fist of a fantasy series with quite a bit of humor thrown in. The second was a reimagining of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”. I’ve read many novels of this genre by this author and haven’t got bored of them yet, so that is the rousing endorsement she needs.

My own writing has been shuffling along. I have posted a couple of poems and poked at some short stories. More entertainment should be forthcoming if I can stop being distracted. But how do I keep getting distracted?

A friend introduced me to a page where I can give away random stuff from my hoard. I managed to offload one clothes dryer, one microwave, a pack-n-play, and some nursing supplies. My husband now excitedly wants me to post just about everything in the house. That will not be happening, so don’t expect to be getting free journals, etc. 

If you are interested in purchasing some of my crafts, however, please let me know. My kids will appreciate it as this is how I plan to fund their extracurricular activities. My husband isn’t too keen on paying the fees for camps and such. I get it because the good ones are a bit expensive, but if our summer schedule has proved anything, it is that I am not nearly exciting enough for my little clones. And play dates don’t work when all their little friends are in camp.

Hope your summer is going well. The temperature is down this morning, so I feel things have improved dramatically.

Updates and Unique Unicorns [RANT]

Playdates and lack of sleep have thrown off the summer schedule but we are muddling through. Well, I am muddling through. Everyone else seems determined to consciously create chaos wherever we may be. 

My oldest child has a friend who has a pool, so both kids want to go over there every day. My new friend (the mother of my child’s friend) says we are welcome to pop over everyday. I am not sure she realizes what such an invitation brings. I think I have to let people enjoy my uniqueness in doses, so I will not take advantage of her kindness.

Aside from that, even with just two fabulous playdates this week, my house feels neglected. The piles get bigger and not in a good way. For instance, they are not huge piles of money that make me dream of being like Scrooge McDuck and swimming in my money. Instead, I soak my hands in soapy water and try to knock back funny smells by giving my new washer a workout. 

I got behind on my writing goals. Since I posted a poem and then realized I did a horrible job editing it last week, I need to get ahead of this goal and not behind it. I also owe my potential substack readers one more post of actual prose since I am planning to make most of the content there only available to paid subscribers in July.

No, I will not be offended if you subscribe to my substack as my birthday gift. I might be sad if you never read my posts or give me feedback though. Not sure why I am so needy about these things. It is good to know that what you create brings joy in to the world.

Why else would I keep subjecting people to cake, brownies, cookies, muffins, and other treats? It isn’t because I make too much for one. Or because my freezer is overflowing with goodies. Well, maybe a little.

That doesn’t stop me from popping out for an ice cream date with a friend. Sometimes, you need to step away from everything you need to do and relax. Tonight, our waitress seemed surprised that I ordered the Cookie Monster ice cream. She warned me that it was VERY blue and would stain my lips and teeth. I reassured her that I did want it and I do know how to use a toothbrush. She seemed satisfied.

After I had a chance to partake of some of my treat, she came back to check on us. I beamed at her and asked if I looked like a Smurf yet. She responded in the affirmative and wandered off again. The evening culminated with her commenting that no one had ever finished the blue menace before. I wonder what her response would have been if I licked up the dribbles from the side of the glass. I always amaze people when I eat ice cream. Want to know what I mean? You can buy my ice cream and find out…

Clearly, I know how to party like it is summer!!!

Bonding, Balancing, and Brainstorming [RANT]

Another week has come and gone. Summer is truly upon us. Lovers of heat and barbecues and being seasonal mermaids rejoice. Polar bears contemplate diving into the neighbors’ pool, preferably with permission and the payment of an acceptable treat. Small children want to run through sprinklers and mud and track it through the house as a memento for their mama despite the horror evident on her face at this action.

Then the rain rolls in. And it always chooses to do this when we are at Nana’s house. So Nana is sad that no one gets in the pool. And the kids just watch other people play computer games on television. That pretty much sums up the first half of my week. That and eating out and dutifully eating brownies that were purchased from Costco for a party of twenty when only four guests were expected. So if you see me and wonder if you are seeing more of me, signs point to yes.

It doesn’t help that I am an accommodating creature. As a guest in someone’s home, I try to fade into the furniture unless I can be helpful. But if my help just gets me told how I am doing everything, including breathing, incorrectly, I wrap up in my cloak of invisibility and keep quiet watch over my tiny clones while catching up on music I want to peruse and my to be read pile. These are a few artists that spoke to me this week:

Lisa Marie Presley: Yes, that Lisa Marie. Her music is kind of gritty. I want to hug her daughters because I know they miss her.

Wolfgang Van Halen: I was on a kick for the babies of famous singers and actresses. That doesn’t mean their music doesn’t have merit of its own.

Brigitte Calls Me Baby: Their music makes me think of the 80s and I enjoyed the 80s. Though some of the music now traumatizes me as my brain keeps telling me what those lyrics really mean.

The Heavy Heavy: Not sure if they give me nostalgia for the 60s or the 70s, but I dig their music. Plus that one band member looks familiar. Odd.

Red Wanting Blue: Southern rock speaks to me for some reasons. Might figure out why at the end of this post.

J J Heller: She posts light-hearted and worship music that soothes me.

I have returned home, where my obsession’s center around finding balance in not just my own life but hopefully the lives of the three blue-eyed cuties who live with me.  I have small children, so I am trying to keep them on a schedule over the summer, so life doesn’t devolve into the chaos. The first week went well. The second week occurred in someone else’s space, so we were schedule free and stayed up late and ran wild. We are trying to get back into the groove of things, but yesterday was exhausting. Today looks like it wants to follow suit.

I shall find my balance. Or I shall vent about it to myself, since I feel like the only person reading my new substack, but I plan to keep posting there. And those who have enjoyed my rantings and writings for years can feel free to get a paid subscription and say it doubles as my birthday and Christmas present for this year. I still need to decide on a reasonable rate since I am currently only promising four to five pieces a month. We’ll see how feisty my muse gets if I receive some appreciative feedback, shall we?

~~~

Help me brainstorm by offering your input on the following questions. Please!

1. How much would you be willing to pay to read four to five pieces of my writing a month?

2. What creeps you out?

3. What brightens your day?

If you don’t want to share with the rest of my readers, message me somewhere. I have a feeling you got here from Facebook, so say “hello, weirdo” and then answer my questions. Thanks in advance!

~~

And your excuse to eat cake today:

Happy Birthday, West Virginia!

The best went west in 1863!

Here’s to another 162 years of being wild and wonderful! 

Contemplation [POETRY] + [RANT]

 

Come to me

Let this be

Our moment of sun

Say you’re the one

Whose belief

Offers relief

And catch this

Chaste kiss

Before the fall

That takes all

Before the rise

Phoenix eyes

Feathers aflame

To lay claim

To my name

~~~

So I have been contemplating substack. I have a couple of friends who are already using it to share their work Would that motivate me to follow my own self-appointed deadline of worthwhile content? Would my friends still want to read my ramblings if there was a small fee associated?

If so what would be my focus?

Poetry

Faith

Food

Short stories

I feel like these rants would still reside here . No one wants to miss out on what is on my mind, right? Especially, the other moms who don’t realize how much they did each day until they are lying in bed exhausted and wondering why this hurts and that aches.

This week, I have been procrastinating writing to conquer laundry mountain. My washing machine gave up the spin cycle around Memorial Day and its replacement arrived on Wednesday. Four people plus no washer equals hugs piles of clothes. My new washer is definitely getting a workout this week.

But I have conquered enough that I sat down to update dear readers. Of course, I listened to a talk on charity this morning and decided to mow the front lawn, so my husband has that much less to do. Will he appreciate it? Or take it as his due?

My summer procrastination centers around today being the last day of school for my two lovely clones. I caught up with a few friends over the past couple of weeks because my focus this summer will be trying to keep my babies active and engaged. So wish me luck because it is going to be a fight to convince them we aren’t watching television all summer. No matter how much we want to watch every episode of every 80s cartoon…